Last week I shared John O'Donohue's wisdom of making friends with one's inner contradictions. In preparation for this week's letter, I re-read what I wrote, realizing that indeed, I could use his wisdom this week!
I had the good fortune Wednesday to play hooky from work in order to pick my niece up from the airport. We went into Seattle early and visited the Frye Museum, a lovely little gem that houses the original collection of traditional oil paintings bequeathed to the city by collectors Charles and Emma Frye in 1952 with express wishes that the museum always be free. The museum has expanded to include rotating exhibitions of contemporary art as well, creating a fresh contrast between old and new. It provided an afternoon of refuge and restoration. Not only did we have a wonderful visit to the museum, the entire day was filled with joy, discovery and lots of sunshine, and ending in the best way, picking my niece up from the airport!
The next day I returned to work and suddenly felt the antithesis of all the joy I felt just 24 hours before. Everything felt off and I just couldn't find my groove. My inner contradictions were roaring and believe me, I did not have John O'Donohue and the treasures of contradictions in my mind or heart. I just wanted to escape back to Wednesday and the joy that was my unexpected day off. It wasn't until I opened up my computer to write today's letter, that I was confronted with my own advice and the true challenge of making space for those inner contradictions. I have a long way to go before I can recognize and be mindful of switching gears back to joy in the moment, but I ran across an extraordinary passage by Barbara Kingslover that is some of the best tactical advice on building joy.
In my own worst seasons I've come back from the
colorless world of despair by forcing myself to look
hard, for a long time, at a single glorious thing: a flame
of red geranium outside my bedroom window. And then
another, my daughter in a yellow dress. And another
the perfect outline of a full, dark sphere behind the
crescent moon. Until I learned to be in love with my life
again. Like a stroke victim retraining new parts of the
brain to grasp lost skills. I have taught myself joy over
and over again.
-Barbara Kingslover
p. 18 Opening to Grief, Finding Your Way from Loss to Peace by Claire B Willis and Marnie Crawford Samuelson
Until next Friday!
Be well, breathe, read, and make some art!
Jen